About 2 or so weeks ago I was in FL at my moms church “Bridgepoint” which is truly an amazing church Tim spoke on Bold prayers. With the key point being that God honors bold prayers because bold prayers honor him. Which is the premise of a book called the circle maker.
I had decided that my bold prayer would be to ask God to enable me to work from home or not to have to work at all. I long to be home when my kids are home, to make strong connections with my friends , to be there for my husband in even way I can be and to learn and read all I can about jesus every single day. Now how is the lord going to make that happen with me not working at all and having to be pretty depended t on my husband and everyone else. Plus my husband is only an assistant baseball coach in a small christain college, so I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to not work but I know I really wanted it. I can literally see the outfield from my living room and I absolutely love it. Love the simplicity. But then one thursday night everything changed. I went from being independent…running connecting with friends to spending 6 nights in the hospital. With many differing diagnoses, I mean im not dying or anything don’t get my wrong but I am off my depression meds rigbt now which sucks … And I’m on meds that are downers to enable me a to walk around without being dizzy and hopefully be able to eat. Things could be so much worse I know that but it makes me think about the way Jesus cried out the the lord on gesemie … What now lord show me what you are trying to teach me … Bring me to the place you need me to be at … Walking through all the counceling with you the last 8 months I thought this was going to be the good side … What’s left? What am I missing … Clean my heart with both the physical sickness and mental sickness.
“this sickness will not end in death but is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God maybe glorified through it all.”john 4:3-4
“i consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed on us.” Romans 8:18
Guess I need to continue the circle maker book as long as this dizziness allows…