So today I woke up just flat out exhausted. Yesterday was an emotional day, realizing all of what The Lord is doing in my life currently and in the past, truly being in awe of Him … Then I did some stuff outside with the kids and got dizzy so I got frustrated … Then later I was hungry so I made plain greek yogurt mixed it with chocolate protein powder then put my banana pudding I made in the same bowl with it and ate it and I felt fine but then right after just felt so so pukey which lead to more tears. Danny was still out at work so that led me to even more frustration and tears, crying at this process/journey The Lord has me on.
I woke up this morning got the kids off to school with Danny then went back to bed just feeling the weight of it all. See I write these blog posts and they come from an in awe of The Lord … Holy Spirit kind of place but that’s not how my days are. They are up and down and sidewise and all that. I am so thankful for the times when I do write and it is about The Lords beauty and His provision and His loveliness, it gives me something to look back on and be encouraged by when I am feeling the weight of the day…
So Danny and I eventually make it to the couch for quiet time and I am crying again, I’m not 100% sure why. And I’ve learned that that’s ok, it’s totally fine. We eventually start talking about how busy this week is and with me not diving it’s hard to keep up with his schedule, Hunters baseball schedule, Laylas soccer schedule, trying to figure out dinners to make, when can I fit in a time that we can go to the grocery store, when can Hunter get a hair cut …all of it…. So he then says “well look … Look at your planner … Your trying to take on the world like Hunter is trying to take on the TCAPS … (that poor boy is scared to death about those crazy tests) That planner is overwhelming, you wake up everyday and stare at that and try to conquer all those things everyday when some of them are days away, have you given that planner to the Lord, trusting that He will help with all that chaos?” Here is a picture of my planner … Notice the pretty color pens 🙂
I mean I like it! We then decided I would start trying to tackle the day instead of the whole month every morning. And that I need to pray specifically for help getting through each day giving our mess/pretty colored pen chaos to the Lord. Good plan right?! 😊 I thought my realizations for today would stop there … But the Lord had another plan, of course!!
So then I began to read the IF:Equip devotional for today and at the end when they kinda just recap the verses, they spoke about how if we take a magnifying glass and put it over our troubles/struggles real close, it makes our focus on them, we are unable to see anything else but those problems thus leading us to be unable to see or hear the Lord. But if we turn the magnifying glass up facing the Lord focusing all our energy and trust in Him, it would be easier to get through those troubles or problems or even the everyday chaos. He knows our struggles already and is at work we just need to trust in Him.
So then I decided to write out verses that remind me of this truth …
And I wrote them out in my journal so when I am overcome with this road the Lord is leading me down that I remember to check where my focus is … Like in Colossians 3:2 where he says “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Then in Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Reminding us that we must be steadfast in mind. We can’t let up we must press on remembering Psam 16:8 “I keep my eyes always on the . With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” He knows we struggle and we have an enemy who is trying to take advantage of every weak moment we have we must remember