I miss you too … 

This was an interesting email to get …  

 

And it got me thinking … Thinking how I just wanted to reply back … Ugh … I miss you too run keeper app!! I miss you tallying my miles, how fast, how long, how far I went per run  … I miss being able to just keep running even being able to run till I hurt … Being able to tackle that long run or hill and just get all that ugh out … I miss you jump squat 10lb ball throws against the wall … You always helped me feel exhausted but empowered at the same time … I miss you workout room working out along side my hubby. But that’s not all I miss … 

I miss you family who I would give anything to hug right now … I miss you friends who as this month of needing the support the most seems to be when your lives switch into overdrive and the business picks up … I miss you driving and listening to the music I want and not having to listen to the news or talk radio or any commercial I could just find another station or if that didn’t work pick a song on my phone to listen to … I miss you cute clothes and straight hair that I used to have the energy to put on or do … I miss you date nights with good food a little wine and some sweet moments of looking across the table at the one who has stood by me through gosh some real crappy crap … I miss you walking fast and being able to look behind me without getting dizzy or wanting to puke … I miss you days of no headaches and not thinking everything is just too loud … I miss you work buddies and the stupid gross things we would laugh at In order to manage the depth and weight of our work …  I miss you late night movie watching while eating  popcorn and dark chocolate M&Ms and still having the energy to get up early and put my feet on the ground ready for a good day … I miss you … I miss you … I miss it all and more. 

And I sit here shaking my head because in saying that I’m not saying that my family or friends have let me down … Please do not hear that. He, our God hasn’t allowed any of those things I wanted to depend on or grasp on to come happen. He hasn’t. It became perfectly clear to be again last night that the Lord … My Father in heaven is working really hard and accomplishing what He is doing may I add … He is working so so so hard to show me that He … He is ALL I/we need. He is. He can fill us up in all the ways we look to others or activities or things trying so hard to feel full. He can do that. He is the only one who can. Our family can’t, our friends can’t, our spouses can’t, our kids can’t, our really good exhausting workouts or runs can’t … but He can!!! He is the only one who can. We just have to let Him. We have to seek Him. We have to trust Him to give us all that. 

I’ve been praying hard this week to know that … To realize that … To not depend on people or things, but to depend on Him. He is the only place I can get my significance. I can get all my needs met only from Him … But even while pretty much being in constant/active prayer all week about it, I was still looking else where. Last night before we went to bed Danny sat by me on the floor as I cried out to God … Why can’t I do this … What am I doing wrong … Why am I still looking to others when I should be looking to you, Lord … And I woke up this morning and heard a whisper … “Because you still aren’t trusting me, let go, see what is happening around you, trust me with your whole self.” 

Just makes me wonder if we would trust Him, really trust Him what would that look like? How sweet would that be? Things have been hard this month, there is no denying that by me or Danny or probably even my kids. But it’s all for a reason…it’s all for His glory…it’s all gonna be ok because we are all going to continue to learn and trust and grow through this time. 

I feel like ending this post with this verse … “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 

One more thing …  It’s easy to say hard to do but we can’t give up because He never give up on us!! Love this song heard it last night … I wanted to share with you all …  

 

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