So I read back through this post … I usually don’t but I did today for whatever reason and it sounds kinda preachy … I don’t mean it to be … It’s just what’s on my heart and being able to write it down and read it again later when I’m struggling helps me so I thought maybe it would help you … So here’s what’s on my ❤️ today.
Since August, no really probably before that I have been dealing with some really heavy heavy things in my life. Not just things that you can dwell on for a few days then get over. Heavy stuff. And these things just keep coming, I feel like ive been sitting in this tiny boat in the middle of the ocean at night, i can barely see a thing except for the light that the moon is giving me when it shines off the water, and this boat is just getting hammered by each and every wave. Up and down I’m being tossed in this boat, being sprayed in the face with the waves that crash along the side of the boat. I’m so close to falling out every time that boat goes up the wave then down the wave but I never do fall out, then for a brief moment the waves settle and I can see the sky, dark yet filled with light from the moon and stars and it just makes me stop and stare. Then before I know it the waves start up again. And there isn’t anyone that can hear me when I yell for them, there isn’t any land in sight to try to direct my boat to … And so I stop trying and just settle in for the ride. I’m not sure what made me think of that analogy this morning but it kinda just came out.
See I finished reading 1 Peter today and gosh is there some good good stuff in this book. It talks about trials we face and why, how we are choosen and precious to God (we are choosen and precious to Him-had to repeat that because I need that reminder and wow it’s that good), how we will suffer for doing good, how to live a life for God, how to shepard and how to be sheparded, how to humble yourself and not be prideful, how to “cast all your anxiety (or cares) on the Lord because He cares for you.” 1Peter5:7.
To be honest I’ve known of that verse, I’ve read it many times and I’ve tried to do exactly what that verse says really without ever having any success. I think for a couple reasons … 1. I don’t think I was ever humble enough to be able to truly give those cares or anxieties over to the Lord. Being humble like truly humble … Not like yeah I’m in the Milligan hall of fame … No really it’s no big deal …☺️⚾️🏆 But being humble in a true biblical sense would be just like being completely broken, being at the foot of the Lord, being at the foot of the cross casting your pride and your desires to the side, and asking God to come into your life, to take it, take it all and do with it what you will Lord, realizing He can and will do a better job with it anyway. And wanting that. I don’t think I understand that until recently.
The second reason I’ve failed in this verse is that I don’t believe I was ever broken enough,ever humble enough, ever ready enough to say Lord here are my cares/my anxieties… Please take them and do with them what you will … Fix them, mend them or leave them in my life until I have learned from them what you are trying to teach me. I feel like we have to be ready to be ok with the Lord necessarily not “fixing” them or “taking” them away from us right away. He can’t just bam heal us or fix us or fix whatever we feel like needs fixing sometimes it takes time and so we need to be humble and ready if that’s the case. Also I really feel like it’s important for us to name them, our anxieties or cares. Say them out loud, write them down, own them. If they are cares/anxieties of ours that we feel that strongly about so does He. He can’t take them from us or help us unless we know exactly what they are.
And so I think when we are able to do that … That is when our boat might not necessarily settle but we are able to settle in, take some splashes of water in our face, hold on tight and know that there isn’t one wave that will push us over because He has got us, even in the waves in the middle of the dark ocean. He isn’t gonna let us get too overwhelmed we have to believe that … Even when we are cold or feel alone He has got us. We just need to be humble before Him, willing to endure the suffering knowing its for His glory … Giving Him our cares and anxieties and believing He has got us even and especially in those dark wavey moments.
This is what I think of when I think about being in my little boat in the middle of the ocean in the dark of night…this amazingly amazing song …
I hope that link works … If not Go to you tube and put in oceans acoustic. It’s my favorite version