So I decided something today ..
You know what I said to Danny last night as we were watching jimmy Fallon and Ellen clips on you tube…you see we usually watch games he plays with celebrities that are just hilarious or him lip singing with celebrities which are also soo stinkin funny. I mean you just absolutely can not be down after watching them I’m convinced, at least I can’t. Oh and the same thing for Ellen. She is just funny and loves to laugh and make people laugh and loves to scare people … I mean go on you tube and put in Ellen scares and just get ready to laugh. So anyway last night we are going back and forth between jimmy and Ellen clips and I’m like … You know what?? I’m just gonna start scaring people, like jumping out from somewhere and scare people. It just makes me laugh it makes them laugh … Eventually. Its funny and it makes people smile it makes me smile and it makes those depressed feelings not so strong.
So then as the Lord would have it I start reading this book called “fight back with joy”. Margaret the writer says Joy – “does not deny the hardship, but would choose to acknowledge and face it no matter what the outcome.” She goes on to say … “Practicing defiant joy is the declaration that the darkness does not win and will not win. When we fight back with joy, we embrace a reality that is more real than what we’re enduring and we awaken to the deepest reality of our identity as beloved, joyful children of God.” So let me back up a second … This woman was diagnosed with cancer and just so happened to be trying to focus more on joy in her life, bringing joy to others, receiving joy and embracing obstacles with joy then bam the diagnosis. And instead of being defeated by the diagnosis and what may or may not be in her future she choose joy. She choose joy … And in choosing joy she decided to bring joy to others as well.
And so I was thinking, I’m ready for that. This time in my life doesn’t come with a definitive diagnosis that leaves me and the ones around me with a distinct vision or path that I am going to be going down. Every day is different. Some days are more dizzy. Some days are more down. Some days are more nauseous. Some days are productive. Some days a shower is considered being productive. We/I just never know. But today you know what Layla did … She layed a hat on her pillow her ladybug costume down on her bed next to it then placed her boots on the bed then carefully covered it all up with her blanket only exposing a little bit of the hat and the boots … She then calls me into her room and when I see it I know what’s she trying to do … Scare me …she wants me to think she’s sleeping under that blanket so I play along and rub the blanket saying ohh Layla did you fall asleep then bam she just out from hiding under her bed and scares me!! And I play along and yell and oh my goodness the joy on her face, in her eyes, in her laugh, in her anticipation to tell Hunter what she did. It was just amazing. I wish you all could have seen it. Then I started thinking about joy moments that I had today… When I took Millie on a long walk and took pictures of milligans campus and sent them to some of my family because it was just too breathe taking to keep to myself. When I recieved a picture of a certain FL princess using the potty this morning. When I got a text from a friend just saying they were praying for me this morning. When a friend stops by even though it’s late just to give a hug because she knows it’s been a rough week. When the Lord helps me understand a bible verse a little more clearly and gives me the words to be able to share it with others.
So with all that what I’m saying is a few things … Today was a good joy filled day but I had to choose to see it. I need more joy filled days, I want more joy filled days, I choose more joy filled days, will you help me? In whatever your joy filled way is?? Text me, call me, send me pics, scare me … Anything. I feel like the first 4 weeks of this thing I didn’t choose to see or give joy, I was scared of how hard this would be, how lonely I would feel, how many things were being taken away from me or changing but i want these next 4 weeks to be different. I want to have “a joyful heart, for it is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22 I want to actively engage in being joyful, in finding the joy in the day in people.
The book I began today is
I am only 20% into it and can you tell how inspired I am already?? It’s soo soo amazing already. I am really excited to keep reading it.
And so like I said today I choose joy. I am going to commit to actively choosing and seeking out joy. Will you help? What joys do you have? I will pray I can in some way bring each of you joy and I pray you can do the same for me. And I also pray that the Lord will continue to reveal joy to me and to you. So yeah … Joy!
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13