you look good … 

So today I did this …  

 

The post today is dedicated to the “run” I did today … My first run since the day I got sick … It wasn’t much but I did it, it’s something to praise Him for!!! My runs always helped clear my mind and made me think of things and this is what came out of the run today … It is in NO way directed toward ANYONE but just something I’ve gained a new perspective on during this time … 

“You look good” … That’s what people tell me. They mean well, I know they do but who do we say that for? Is it for the person saying it … So they can check it off a list and be like yep she looks good, she must be holding it together, I must be doing enough, I’ll check back in next time I see her … Do people say it for me? Is it suppose to help me feel better? I mean if I was honest I would be like yeah … Take me out of the house to church or a ball game I can pull it together, that’s what us women are good at right? And our kids are here with us so we have to pull it together for them, they deserve that. But really on the inside your trying to hold your “ish” together. I mean what if we said that next time … Yeah I might look good now but at any moment that “good” could come crashing down. I mean a trial is called a trial for a reason … It’s trying. It’s not one simple thing ever it’s “ish” stacked on top of “ish” on top of “ish” on top of “ish”. And sometimes that “ish” gets to you and you can’t hold back or you can hold back long enough to answer the question or nod and say thank you as you give them a hug assuring them your good when really you just want to be like well actually I might look “good” but really I’m just  holding on. And when will that answer be ok? Because I want to be real like that. The other stuff just don’t feel right. I want others to be real like that with me. (I do … So tell me your ish 🙂 ha!) Tell me if you just can’t hold your ish in any longer. Let me hold you. Listen to you. Love you. Cause that’s really all we need. Not a pep talk or a solution or a suggestion of what to do next, we just need love. Love and support that’s all. Real raw love and support. The honest stuff. The stuff no one wants to hear no one wants to hang around long enough to feel. But it’s not the persons fault for not being able to do more or say more then you look good. It’s our fault. Our fault for moving past the real part the love part the part Jesus began his ministry with. Love. We just need  love. Real love, the slow moving, look you in the eye, no hidden agenda, no time schedule, long hug kind. I want to get back to that. I want to find and spread joy and I want to love like Jesus loves. He loved so well that others didn’t feel alone. That’s love. That’s love no matter what … good days or bad, good moments or bad, crazy head thoughts or happy joyful ones … I want to be real. We all deserve to be real with one another. Jesus loved people to the point that he told them to give up everything and they did … Though showing his love … Through his eyes … His hugs … His touch … His time … His words … He was able to listen to their ish,  their doubt, their trials and transcend love in those desperate times. He can handle our ish … He can show us real love … I pray we can be more like Jesus in this way. The way we show real love to others, the way we accept others ish and all showing them we care, we have the time, we have the love to give even in their brokenness. We all have ish … Let’s spread joy and love so when the people of this world need love they have the courage not to hug and say yeah I look ok but to say yeah I guess so but gosh the ish I am going through is wearing me out. Let’s empower them to be raw and real with us and in that we can give them the love of Jesus. “We love because He first loved us.” 1John4:19



Advertisements

2 thoughts on “you look good … 

  1. insanely good thoughts and feelings the kind of inane part of it is that it made me just tear up and want to look you in the eye and hug you

    Like

  2. Every time I read what you have posted, I can’t believe what a beautiful, caring and loving person you have grown to be. I am brought to tears. I can only imagine what you must be going thru mentally and physically. Please always know my LOVE and PRAYERS are with you Danny , Layla and Hunter.

    Uncle Glenn

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s