❤️ Jesus is after our hearts ❤️

It’s been a little hard to focus or be inspired to write lately. My allergies have been insanely awful, I stopped the Wellbutrin today and will have more to wean off later but I think my body and mind and heart are just trying to adjust to so much that it’s just left me hanging on. I’m kinda good at the hanging on part for around 4 hours after I wake up then I just kinda start riding the slope downhill until I’m a mess. And until recently I’ve been ok with that, learning to ride that slope but now I  feel like it’s led me to pick out all the things I can’t do or aren’t doing right, totally not focusing on joy at all but focusing on poor me. And that just … Ugh … I so don’t want to be that way.  And as hard as I try not to sometimes I just get stuck in that. It’s easy to, I think for me at least. I realized something this morning though … Two things … 

1. It’s easy to fall into that because the enemy is soooo good at getting into our minds. He knows when we are the weakest , he knows what we are the weakest at … Like which button to push to slowly start turning our head away from Jesus and begin to have the poor me attitude, he knows what to do to convince and or remind us of taking us down to that place where we aren’t strong enough to come back up from. He is good at what he does. The best even. But the second thing I realized this morning … 

2. Is that Jesus isn’t after our mind he is after our heart❤️. He longs to be in our heart, to have our heart so dedicated to Him, so full of His love, so full of love for Him, so full of joy for him, so full of praise and thankfulness. Just like this heart with two tiny arms on the side of it that are literally wrapped around Jesus. Like giving us protection from everything else because Jesus is in our heart-our core-our source of life. Without the heart we are dead! And without Jesus we are dead!! 

After thinking about this some I found some passages and wrote them down …  

 

  
Maybe I struggle more then I am suppose to because I haven’t given my whole heart to Jesus … Even the scary parts down deep inside, even the parts that I don’t know are in there, the parts that I don’t let myself feel because it’s too painful, even the parts that I haven’t let go of because I’m afraid He will see my anger or frustration with Him. When I give him my whole heart then he can help me put my armor on everyday ready to fight the battle of my mind with the enemy, he can then be in there too, my mind. He wants to be in all of me but I think it must start in the heart ❤️  

I need, I want to clean our my heart, expose it all to Jesus. I don’t believe at all that this is an easy thing or a one time thing because that enemy is going to be working every second to turn our focus away from our heart and Jesus and toward our head and the enemies ability to control it. At least mine anyway. 

Thankful this morning for inspiration to write, for the Lord and the Holy Spirit to be in my heart and mind long enough to see and hear Him. Praying today that I can “set my mind on things above, not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:2 even if it’s just for a little bit or if it’s for all day, even if it comes hard or comes easy, even if I make it all day or I make it an hour … Whatever it is I am thankful. A little bit is better than nothing at all. Because you know what… life isn’t easy but with the Lord we can do hard things. 

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