Hope … 

Hope … Hope … What’s your hope in? Like your true whole only hope? Before all this, all this here my hope was different. It was in trivial material useless things like “I hope I look skinny in this outfit or I hope I have a good day at work or I hope I fit in around here soon or I hope I get to run today cause I really need to run, I haven’t ran in so long and I know I’m starting to look fat I just know it, I mean I can feel it, everything is giggly and gross, gosh I really hope I can just fit in a run. I know … So meaningless.” Back then, before March 19th I had no idea what hope was. Well actually thinking about it a little i think i do know … My hope … My trust was totally in myself, I’ll get it all done I’ll work and exercise and be a perfect mom and do it all myself without anyone’s help. I certainly didn’t allow my rock to be my rock then or my rock rock. I don’t even think I thought of them like that then. I took that on myself. I was the only one who could do it the right way … Those were seriously my thoughts. Now I look back and think I didn’t even know what it meant to place your hope in something, I was just doing it all without even thinking, I was numb to the world, myself, Danny, the Lord , everything. 

Do you know what your hope is in? Like really in? I quickly learned on March 19th that my “hope” was something I used to place my value in. Like how I saw myself. Like being able to run or even exercise or being able to drive or feeling well or having patience or working. But I sat in church last weekend and the word hope just hit me hard. It hit me what hope really is and how my hope was totally different now, then it was then and now my hope is in Jesus. Like my whole hope is in and with him. And it has to be for me right now in order to keep going, to keep getting out of bed, to keep moving forward and not be a complete messy mess on the floor. 

I don’t know if I can ever say that I have had my hope in Jesus before. My whole hope. Or that I knew the gravity of what hope is or means. My everything rest in him and what he is doing and preparing for me in my life right now. This whole thing is too big to not rest my hope on him. I can’t. Completely and totally can’t do it if my hope isn’t in Him. And every day isn’t easy, its work, I have to choose hope and some days may be easier then others. But the reality is without hope in Jesus I couldn’t do this life. 

It’s interesting to me that according to biblestudytools.com the definition of hope is ” to trust in, wait for, look for, or desire something or someone” to trust is the first words of the definition. I never put hope and trust together as being almost one before. But it really is. It’s taken me a long time to get here but if each of these painful confusing 84 days has lead me to be able to, though not always without tears or crying, place my hope in Jesus … Well, then I guess I’ll take it. 

Heard this song for the first time last night while I was watching the kids catch lighting bugs … Gods whispers strike again … 

Your Glory – lyrics – by my sons and daughters 

My life is yours , My hope is in You only, And my heart You hold, ‘Cause You made this sinner holy, Holy, holy
‘Cause Your glory is so beautiful, I fall onto my knees in awe, And the heartbeat of my life, Is to worship in Your light, ‘Cause Your glory is so beautiful, ‘Cause Your glory is so beautiful
And my life is Yours, And my hope is in You only, And my heart You hold, ‘Cause You made this sinner holy, Holy, holy 
‘Cause Your glory is so beautiful, I fall onto my knees in awe, And the heartbeat of my life, Is to worship in Your light, ‘Cause Your glory is so beautiful, ‘Cause Your glory is so beautiful
Glory glory, Hallelujah, Jesus You are good
We sing, Glory glory, Hallelujah, Jesus You are good, ‘Cause Your glory is so beautiful
I fall onto my knees in awe, And the heartbeat of my life, Is to worship in Your light, ‘Cause Your glory is so beautiful, Your glory is so beautiful
Listen to it …  http://youtu.be/CBWFzVfJ5-0

What do you rest your hope in? Where is your hope grounded? In yourself … In your savior? 
One last song … http://youtu.be/ZaV7tVrc6yk

This song has total fist pumping hand raising high action jumping around praising Jesus ability to it toward the end … 

My hope is you – lyrics – by third day 

To you, O Lord, I lift my soul In you, O God, I place my trust Do not let me be put to shame Nor let my enemies triumph over me My hope is you Show me your ways Guide me in Truth In all my days My hope is you I am, O Lord, filled with your love You are, O God, my salvation Guard my life and rescue me My broken spirit shouts My mended heart cries out…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s