Have you ever been in the midst of doing something for the lord that just hurts? I mean makes you sick kind of hurts, hurts you to the core? We are in the midst of doing that for the Lord right now. All He has to do is line a few things up and bam. Or he could line a few things up in another direction and pull an Abraham … You know when he goes up the mountain to sacrifice his son Isaac, for the Lord … You know he doesn’t go up there like yes I will lord but then takes a dull knife … He doesn’t just say see lord I’ll do it, I’m here I listened … No he takes a sharp knife and raises it up about to strike his precious son, probably while the little boy is yelling no daddy, daddy what did I do…please daddy no, with all that and his own pain he still submits and raises the knife and right before the strike the Lord stops him. So either way we are in submission to the Lord mode right now, pain or no pain tears or no tears, nausea or no nausea questions or no questions.
But he is quiet right now which leads to even more of all those things I just mentioned. I feel like there are things he could do to alleviate some of our suffering but those things aren’t happening. Maybe he’s pushing us to be brave … Maybe he’s waiting to see our true devotion that we aren’t gonna back down or get scared … Maybe he’s gonna pull an Abraham … Who knows. All I know is that when we are waiting … Open to which way the Lord is leading us, pretty sure of where that will be but even still the silence is deafening, it hurts, the whole thing. It feels like we are suffering, long and hard and cut wide open. I don’t want to do it. I just don’t. But like I told the neuro doctor if staying off depression meds for an additional 6 weeks is what I need to do then I’ll do it, even if it hurts and is painful. I’ll do this too. I’ll cry out a lot, I’ll shed a lot of tears but I will fearfully submit (with my rocks help … Oh with my rocks help … if it wasn’t for him I could not do this) to our Lord. No it won’t be exciting, but it will get there. God is forcing us right now to choose Him above all, in place of everything, no matter what … To choose Him. I read recently “when God tells you to be brave, He will make it work. It won’t be easy. But it will be your story, your best story.” Either way we are being forced to be brave.
So hurting or not this is part of our story…praying we can continue to devote ourselves to the Lord like we know we should even when it’s hard. And praying for you, seriously I pray for all of you … Praying for you and where you may be hurting, where you may have pain, where the Lord may be pulling or pushing you to submission to obedience for him. I try to remember this, He loves us no matter the journey or hurt or pain or tears or sickness, he loves us and is doing it because he loves us. He loves us enough to refine and strengthen us even when we don’t think we need it or don’t think we deserve it or think it’s too much work … he doesn’t, he never gives up on us.
Heard this at church this weekend … And wrote it on our thankful board today … Felt like we needed a reminder of his truths and maybe you do as well.
God loves you, He cares for you, He has plans for you….rest in those truths. I’ve recently felt worse these last few weeks and so resting in truths has become an importance. We need to rest on His truths so we won’t believe the enemys lies.