You know I’m crazy about reading right now…like kinda pray for me crazy. I barely finish a book before I jump into the next. I’ve progressed to now picking two at a time to read so when I finish the first book I know what I’m gonna read next. But not like mystery, Nicholas Sparks love story books … But God story books, memoirs, books that illustrate God working or his workings in someone’s life, books that remind me of scripture, grip me with his grace and just leave my heart longing to learn and know him more. It’s wonderful. Maybe Im kinda just crazy about the Lord right now. Just want to soak him in, lean in to him in all aspects. What I read … What I listen to … How I speak … What I study … My thoughts … Etc.
And so anyway, I was reading just now (a new book) and a couple quotes stuck out to me. Kinda made me stop and be still for a moment so I thought I would share. The book is The Hardest Peace : Expecting Grace in the Midst of Life’s Hard … It says, “To be alive is to be broken. And to be broken is to stand in need of grace. Honesty keeps us in touch with our neediness and the truth that we are saved sinners. There is a beautiful transparency to honest disciples who never wear a false face and do not pretend to be anything but who they are.” A quote she used from Brennan manning. And it just rang true to my heart. To be alive is to be broken. To lay it out there and say I am a broken, wounded, need of a whole lotta Jesus sinner who sometimes all I can do right is to stand in need of grace. When we can admit that, when we can be that honest with Jesus and lay before him the worst parts of our hearts, the parts we don’t even want to go to or admit are there, then we can truly live, we can truly be alive. It takes work to get there. A lifetime of work but sometimes when God forces you to be still. When he makes you start working on the depths of your heart even in pain and hurt, good things will come, maybe not right away but they will.
The other quote that gripped me tonight is … “The keep quiet and look good living is always easier then heart-breaking, mistake-admitting, choosing-humility life in Jesus.” And it’s so true. It’s so much easier. It’s easier to just keep quiet put our good outside of our front door face on and just go through the motions of life but I can tell you that it will come back to you being broken eventually. It just will. But I have learned that if we can move away from the keep quiet look good living and dig deep especially with an authentic relationship with Jesus and even others then that’s when we truly move from being broken to being alive. Please don’t hear me say I am good at this … Causing nope I’m totally not. I’m learning and trying and praying and in that beginning to move in that direction with Jesus as well as others. At least I think I am … I hope I am … I pray I am.
Lately my alive is to be exactly what she said … Broken. But it doesn’t have to end there. Because He is good. You deserve good. In your honest brokenness your good will come. He has already come for your broken, look to him.