truth is … 

So I have so much I want to write about “9 things I’ve learned in the month of 9!” And the three books I’ve read in September but the truth is I can’t. I honestly just can’t. 

I am in this place right now that I feel like when I look back it probably has been coming on for a week or two and it’s a place that doesn’t feel good. It’s a place of the enemy in my head telling me lies … And a place of me being down and depressed and impatient and unmotivated and quiet. I am in a place of crying, searching for whispers, praying for the Lord to break this chain that’s ahold of me right now. 

And so right now I am going back to the basics. Listening to my favorite music, on my knees praying, journaling prayers and songs, praying long hard prayers with my hubby, getting alone with God and preaching His word into my mind as much as I can, reading over and over his promises cuddling up with my babies, being swallowed by my rocks arms. It’s all I know how to do right now. And that’s ok too. 

Glennon Melton Doyle wrote a blog yesterday on http://www.momastery.com that is just so so right on. It’s like things get erased when you fall back into a depressed episode. All the things that were written in your head are erased. I’m not sure why now…why all of the sudden things are erased. But they do and its like I’m back to square one and it kinda hurts. But like the Lord says in  Isaiah 66:9 “I will not cause pain without something new to be born says the Lord.” So maybe this pain is birthing something new? Maybe it’s for a purpose? Maybe He will work it for good? But until then today and everyday until I start to feel Him again, until I start to feel purpose and joy and love I will pray and work to discover and relearn His promises. I’ll search the scripture seeking them out … I’ll pray for whispers … And when I find them I post them for you too. So we both have a place to come to when we feel lost or have forgotten or need reminding of the promises our God made for us. 

Because it might be hard for us … But  

 

 

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