meaningful rambling … 

Wrote this last night while this was happening … 
 And while we were waiting for our boys to come home from hunting. And a whole bunch kinda came out … Kinda a whole bunch of rambling … Meaningful rambling I guess. It’s kinda long but I thought I would share it with you anyways. So yeah, here it is … 
You know, I have pondered this thing lately. This thing that I think I’m ready to finally try to put to words. So here it is … when in life do we loose our childlike eyes? When do our eyes and heart and mind become critical of the people and world around us? It’s sad for me to think about it. Maybe it has nothing to do with us … Maybe it occurs when the devil knows us well enough to begin attacking us. He starts attacking us where it will start effecting our entire life, our entire being. I don’t know. 
I want to be pure in heart … I don’t want to be critical of everything and everyone around me. I don’t want to see someone’s nervous habit as an annoyance, I just want to accept them for who they are flaws and all. It’s hard though. My first instinct is to judge and measure myself up to another person. We are all flawed, we just are, there’s nothing we can really do about it either. In some sort of way or another we will have some annoyance to someone, have some habit that will frustrate or get on someones nerves. 
But kids, children they don’t see those things that I see or feel that get under your skin gosh if they do that cough or chew that gum with their mouth open one more time I am gonna just scream. They don’t experience that. They just accept you as you are, annoying habit and all. And just keep going on about their day without it even causing them to ponder or think or beg God for grace. 
So when does it change? When do we go from acceptance of you to all I see or hear is your frustrating annoyance? I mean I don’t know. I don’t get it. 
We are all Gods children, we are all fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. If we think about others with that mentality it kinda changes things. What if we go up to the glorious gates of heaven and God looks us in the eye and asks us why we looked down on a certain someone or made them feel insecure about their nervous cough … Or whatever their annoying tendency is to us. Didn’t we know they are His child? He knows every hair on their head, He counted every tear … why would we think we were better then them or think it would be OK to do anything but show love to them? Do we not know that He weeped with them when they felt the pain of our judgements? 
I’m beginning to see that putting on our armor of God like is says in Ephesians 6 is so much more then just protecting us from the Devils schemes. Or maybe I’m just beginning to see how intricate the Devils schemes really are. How if we let him, he will control our every thought, every annoyance, every idolized love, every opinion and frustration and thought and action and smile and frown and literally every single piece of us. If we don’t prepare our hearts and minds and entire being with Gods armor, Gods word and promises and truths and songs and praises and worships and throw our arms up in surrender to Him and His will, if we don’t actively do all of those things then we are leaving ourselves susceptible to being taken advantage of and convinced of lies by the enemies. 
1 Peter 5:8 says ” Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” And honestly I believe that verse now more then ever. God is showing me daily how active I need to be in putting on my armor in so many area of my life … My mind, my words, my thoughts, my actions, my intentions. In the way I see others … How I should be seeing others as children of God and loving them with a Christ-like love. How I need to pursue and put God first in all areas of my life. Thinking I can manage my life or my families life without total surrender to God is a lie the enemy has convinced me of. I need God in all things, the big, the little, the things I think are mundane, everything. Surrendered transparent to God living is the only way to live. Bring him in all aspects of our life is the only way. 
I have prayed and prayed and you know when you pray and you wait and you wait and you just don’t get why this and that or that and this is happening why people are being this way or that way and so you just start to pray that God will in whatever He is doing, that He will just prepare your heart to accept it when it happens, to see it, to recognize it and praise and thank Him for it. That’s kinda happened lately … His provision is far better then I could have imagined or fathomed and I’m thankful for it. Thankful that He loves me even when I don’t believe He is listening or paying attention to me. Thankful that when I am flat on my face surrendering myself, my ish to Him, that He never stops working on my heart. 
You see we all long for something .. Someone … To fulfill our pain or to make us feel loved or good about ourselves or important or to validate us but He is the only one who can do that. We may know that but we are so confused as to how to live that … I’m beginning to see glimpses of how to live … we just have to press on, keep leaning in, keep surrendering ourselves to Him flat on our face and all, and then we will start to let go and grab ahold of Him and Him alone to supply all our need… to fill the voids of our pain or to make us feel loved and needed and important. 
I saw a quote yesterday from Ann Voskamps blog it read … “The gospel isn’t what we accept, the gospel is what we extend” and I just think how true is that! It’s like I wrote about yesterday with the selfless grace. Looking at the world and people through childlike eyes … Is in essence extending the gospel to them. What a wonderful world it would be if we could do that or at least strived to live that way. The good news is we can strive to live that way, especially with help from God our father. Amen to that. 

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