Ever since last Thursday the Lord has been whispering…shouting…and patiently waiting for me to – this isn’t the way the song goes but it’s on my heart this morning – He’s been waiting for me to begin breathing in His peace and breathing out His praise. (It’s from the Matt Redman song Your Grace finds Me … I switched out grace for the word peace.)
Breathing in your peace (grace) … Breathing out your praise … Your peace (grace) finds me … Since last Thursday everyday has just been hard, trying, emotional, heavy, suffocating and a lot has to do with my medicine and the weaning of some and adding of another. Depression and anxiety is tricky disease. One day you feel great and the next day you just totally don’t. And maybe God has given me this time of suffering to turn my attention to be more on Him and more specifically how He can and does bring peace. I’ve said before He is love and I’ve walked the road of learning His everlasting unshakable love for me but maybe He is trying to show me His peace. It’s sure seems like it anyways.
The Lord brought peace to the forefront of Danny’s mind first. After my hard day at the Drs Thursday and just continuing to not feel well, Danny came home on fire with this story. He was listening to Chip Ingram on his way home from work and heard the story behind the hymn It is Well with my Soul. I had never heard the story behind it but gosh is it a powerful one. If you listen to it below, John Piper tells the story with in the song for you.
It’s such a powerful, powerful story. I mean, to loose a son, then the Chicago fires bring such tragedy in your life and you want to take your wife and girls on a trip to get away and something comes up. You stay back and weeks later find out your wife is safe but alone. You have lost your 4 girls. I can not even fathom losing a child, but he lost 5. And when he was on a boat to go be with his grieving wife, it was made aware to him that he was passing over the exact place his daughters had died. And what does he do?? He doesn’t blame God but instead he writes an amazing hymn … When peace like a river, attendth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say … It is well, it is well, with my soul. Peace that surpasses understanding…he had peace that we can not fathom, exactly the peace God can bring us.
Then in church on Sunday we studied Philippians 4: 4-7 and how when we present our worries, our anxieties about anything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving we bring them to the Lord and He will bring us peace that transcends ALL understanding. We can not even understand the peace that He brings us … It’s that big … That impactful … That – I don’t even know what the next word is I want to use … unexplainable.
Then Monday morning I woke up and began the IF:Advent study and this …
Sometimes we look at someone else’s and just watch in awe as they gracefully walk through some horrible, terrible stuff … And we may think to ourselves … gosh I could never be that brave or be ok or how can they keep going after all those terrible things? And you know what? You know what God is beginning to show me … He can bring us that kind of peace, He will bring us that kind of peace, we need only to ask. To physically take hold of the fear we have inside and name it before the Lord, bring it to the light and ask, pray for peace…peace that surpasses human understanding. Then walk through that peace with the Lord, the only one who can satisfy our every need, the only one who can bring peace to any of our worries or pains or hardships.
And no, it’s not easy. It’s not. And yes you will forget and repent and ask for peace and guidance again and again and again. That’s why it’s so important to saturate yourself with the Lord. Like completely saturate yourself with Him. Let what you read and hear and do be of Him and not of this world. It’s so very important to be that way especially when we are hurting or suffering or in a trial. It has been my experience anyway, if I don’t saturate myself with Him then the enemy get in my head and tells such lies that it debilitates me. We must saturate ourselves with Him because He is the only one who can satisfy, the only one who can bring us peace, the only one who knows every hair on our head, who bottles every one of our tears, the only one who weeps when we weep and the only one who can love us with a love that is unmeasurable – that is so grand that we could never comprehend it.
Thankful even in the pain and suffering and unknown that God makes Himself known in such a strong way. Peace.
It is well with my soul;
peace like a river attendeth my way When sorrows like sea billows roll What ever my lot you have taught me to say It is well, it is well with my soul
Though the devil will ruin, though trials may come Let this blessed assurance control That Christ has regarded my helpless estate And He shed His own blood for my soul
It is well, with my soul It is well, it is well with my soul
My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought My sin not in part but the whole Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul
It is well, with my soul It is well, it is well with my soul It is well with my soul It is well, it is well with my soul
And Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight And the clouds be rolled back as a scroll The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend Even so, it is well with my soul
It is well with my soul It is well, it is well with my soul It is well with my soul It is well, it is well with my soul