1 Thessalonians 5:4-5 “but you brothers and sisters are not in the darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. We are children of the light and children of the day, we do not belong to the night or to the darkness.”
Saturday morning I woke up wide awake and unable to go back to sleep at 6:00 am. My fatigue has been pretty substantial but sleeping past 6 or 7 am has been hard for me.
I had read the verses above in 1 Thessalonians the day before, looking for verses that spoke about day vs night and what that meant as a believer to be in the light.
The usual IF devotional that I do throughout the week takes a break over the weekend and so I decided to re read what I had read the day before.
It was quiet, dark, still and the Lord whispered to me in those moments something kinda big.
You see ever since last week it’s been kinda rough around here. This optic nerve thing is quite a thing. It flat out hurts. Your eye hurts, which leads to your head hurting. My vision feels like this thing is sticking out from the inside of my nose hindering what I see from the inside of my left eye, my eye ball almost feels like there is something behind it making it bulge and when I try to rest my eyes flutter and almost like can’t relax but they are so tired and hurt they need to rest. I’ve tried taking Advil twice a day but it hasn’t seemed to make a big impact. Plus I have this very loud, enthusiastic, joyful, lover of life 6 year old that knows no restraint on love or voice or ability to sit still or a way of not being in your face all the time because life is just awesome and amazing and she must just tell and show and share it with you!! So there is that too.
But as I sat there and read the Lord whispered something to me about being in the light … His light and I feel like it’s worthy of sharing and I want to share it with you before this week of possible diagnosis begins for us.
You see ever since before last weeks doctor appointment Danny and I have both had this feeling. This feeling that at the end of this week we will be a step closer to finding out that this season of sickness hasnt been this season of unknown but a season of the Lord preparing us for the diagnosis of MS. We feel like it’s gonna be MS and we are already trying to prepare ourselves for that.
That the diagnosis that we were so afraid of when this all started, the diagnosis that we were running from and praying that it wouldn’t be is gonna be the diagnosis in the end. And it’s ok. It’s gonna be ok. Gods with us … He’s been preparing us ever since this started last March 19th.
He’s brought us to the light … We are not in the darkness going to be surprised like a thief. We are prepared and in the light, His light.
Are we nervous … Yeah.
Are we scared … Of course.
Do we feel alone … No.
Do we feel loved … Yeah.
Do we feel like this is going to be used for His glory … We do. We really do. It doesn’t make that scary diagnosis any easier. When it comes I may just start crying and never stop. I might. We might. I don’t know what we will do but we feel like it’s coming. We feel like the Lord is whispering that to us … He isn’t leaving us in the darkness so we can be surprised like a thief. He is shining His light on us, preparing us, loving us in a way that no one else can.
Maybe it will be negative and we will still get to shine His light on our story and tell of His faithfulness and sovereignty and grace but even if it’s positive we are ready to do the same thing.
We want to bring glory to Him no matter what. We will. It may not always be easy. We may have days that all we see is darkness, when the pain and days in front of us seem to big to bare.
But I pray that they are short lived. That the Lord brings us strength and whispers and light in those tough moments and tough days. But above all I pray we can show Him glory no matter what this week holds.