I’ve been struggling as to what to post since my last … Let’s say, emotionally charged post. But as I just wrote that, I realize and want to share that all my posts are emotionally charged cause I’m pretty passionate about everything I send out to you in this blog post world otherwise I wouldn’t post it.
But at the same time I just feel so drained. In all areas of my life.
My body is at a point that every single thing just takes effort. It just does. My mind is harder to keep focused. My body physically feels every step and leaves me hurting at the end of the night.
Emotionally I feel strung out and numb almost, in a place where I just don’t know where to turn or what to do next. I repeat Gods promises to myself through listening to music and reading scripture but it’s not penetrating like it used to.
And it’s all gonna be ok. Every single bit of it. I don’t have to have it figured out every single minute of every single day. This season is just that a season. So yeah it’s lasted almost a year, who’s counting!
We left two good doctors and two amazing councilors in TN … Maybe we can’t expect a smooth hiccup free transition into a town we know nothing about medically.
We have been blessed with an amazing amazing church, the kids school which has embraced them and loves them , some friends that we feel like we’ve known for years instead of months, a warm house, a quiet secluded home that just feels right, time together as a family and as a couple that we have ached for for so so so long, time with my kids to learn their individual needs and the desires of their hearts and so much more. It’s been such a transition in so many ways that maybe we, I have forgotten all the ways Gods hand is woven in our lives. The big things may not be happening yet but the little things are. I’ve expected these immediate answers in areas that just aren’t capable of producing them that I’ve over looked how Gods hand has been in it from the very start.
My, our God is good, He is gracious, He is merciful, He is all knowing and powerful, He is the father who has walked the same walk, who has endured our same struggles, who has cried over our tears and counted every single one of them, He knows us by name, He has numbered every hair on our head, He knows all our sins and yet He loves us the same. He never gives up on us no matter how discouraged we get or how far we feel from Him, He continues to peruse us, me, you with a love we can’t even fathom.
We can’t give up cause He never ever gives up on us. I’m not gonna give up. Yes it’s hard, yes sometimes it vacumms (sucks) really really bad, and it would be easier to throw in the towel on yourself then to continue to work and love yourself but let me encourage you and me friend, He will never give up on us, never … Keep going, keep working, keep listening, keep keepin on because He’s gonna keep keepin on after you. He’s right there, we just have to get out of our own way and open our minds and ears and hearts to Him.
So let me encourage you my friend, and myself as well, keep going … it’s worth the fight … Your worth the fight, the struggle, He’s never doubted that nor will He ever doubt that for a single minute.