Yes I’ve been pretty m.i.a. lately. 😦
I’m sorry. I just have zero energy and I just hurt and I know I need and believe me I want to write but the words have just left me. The words are in there they are just foggy or blurry right now.
I found something last night though on momastery.com that I wanted to share.
She depicts what I’m currently struggling with so well and I wanted to share it. I cry whenever I read it because it’s so so real to me and my family right now.
The part about not even having the energy to kiss her husband is where I’m at … is me. And gosh oh gosh oh gosh how that hurts.
The part about being needy and not wanting or being able to get out of bed … is me. The part about being a sick mommy with piles of guilt and anger and fear and her vulnerability on loving her children more but her weakness makes her enable to and how it feels like torture … is me.
My LP was negative for MS but was positive for Lyme and now we are waiting to hear how we are gonna attack this thing but every day gets harder and harder.
The pain you feel when you have the flu and you can’t think or even read or listen to music and the part where you don’t want to raise your arm or open your eyes or even eat because you hurt so bad, those are my days everyday right now but the Lord has brought me this far and He’s not going anywhere now. I know that. I believe that.
The good thing about hurting so bad you can’t think and about this brain fog is that the enemy is harder to hear. He’s not in there telling me lies, the Lord is protecting me from that and I’m so grateful. Gosh how I need that protection.
I can do this. I am doing this and yes it vaccumms reeeeaaaalllly bad and is a struggle every single minute of every single day and there have been so many tears but I’m gonna do it.
A friend, someone who gosh is just an absolute answered prayer delivered straight to me from the Lord is teaching me to stitch. I had a good few days last week and she began teaching me and I even made something …
I don’t believe for a second that that was on accident. That when I started learning that this was the quote that came to my mind.
God doesn’t do things on accident. He is too good, He is only good.
This journey is long and hard and it’s already been a year but I can do it. We can do it. It is worth it. He is worth it. You are worth it. I can do hard things. You can do hard things.