You know that bible verse in the bible some women cringe at and maybe follow sometimes but definitely not all the time, because surely God didn’t mean all the time…who can do that??
You know the one I’m talking about right?? Ephesians 5:22-24 ” Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
It’s hard to hear and not think their are stipulations on it. In fact I’ve said in my head before … Well Lord right after it it says “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church” Ephesians 5:25-30 So Lord if Danny would just love me like you love the church then I would submit. But he doesn’t so I’m not gonna. Silly right?
I used to think that way for a long time and things were bad for Danny and I.
Thoughts of entitlement never produce love, ever. They just produce pride and (I can’t think of a word that doesn’t mean unity so) unifiedness.
And that what Danny and I were until about 9 months before I became sick. August 2014 the bottom fell out of our marriage and we both hit the floor face first. Makes me tear up writing that. It was an awful awful time.
We cried out to each other, we cried out to the Lord. We couldn’t eat or sleep, we layed on the floor in physical pain from the ever slow crumbling to the hard and painful and fast collapse and crash for our marriage.
Now our marriage wasn’t all bad. We had good times too. Lots of good times. But even with the good times the enemy can seep in and slowly crumbly your good if your not careful and active in pursuing God in yourself and in your marriage.
But you know what? That crash though it was bad and made us forget about our good it changed our life, our marriage, our walk with the Lord individually and as a couple and it set the stage for Gods mighty redemptive story.
He has been working in me and in Danny and in us ever since.
This weekend I was reminded of that very scripture verse and of a core truth that since that day has held us (Danny and I) together…trusting my husbands instincts and letting my husband lead.
We were suppose to go to see my brother and sister in law and their new addition to their family this weekend in the Outer banks. I wanted to go back in April but we had planned to go this weekend since it was a long weekend instead.
It’s kinda of a long story but basically I got sick and called Danny with half a voice crying on the phone on Tuesday because my plan was to go that morning to the Drs, get antibiotics, start them then feel better and not contagious enough to leave Friday night. Instead the dr told me to wait it out till Friday and if I wasn’t feeling better then start the antibiotics.
I’m feeling better … I’m feeling better … That was me trying to convince myself, meanwhile we had extra dogs here that were being difficult for Dannys mom who was getting sicker all week and so she couldn’t keep our dog and cat and truly I wasn’t feeling better. And plus my sister in law was sick and so Friday morning Danny made the decision that there were too many things saying not to go and we needed to stay home.
Whispers surrounded me saying, “let your husband lead” and so I cried and was disappointed and disappointed for the kids but I listened to the whisper.
Well beginning Friday night into Saturday morning I started having Lyme herx reaction from this certain antibiotic … Basically the imagine the most intense pain you have ver felt with a migraine and nausea and blurry eyes … Which led me to being in bed all day Saturday. “See let your husband lead Andrea” the Lord whispered again.
The pain slowly got better but was still persistent all weekend. Even leading us to stay home from church.
Sunday night I am starting to feel a little better, I get Layla in the bath and (I can’t believe I will share this on the Internet but) yeah she has lice.
“And again my child let your husband lead.” And so yeah basically I got the point and I am beyond grateful my hubby pulled the plug on the trip. Could you imagine that text, sorry bro but not only did I bring the dog you didn’t want to come, I brought sickness, oh and I brought lice!!!
But it made me think back to a when I started really embracing my husbands leadership … and I think it goes back to that crash in our marriage.
And I share all this with you because I don’t want you to have to go through that crash. I don’t want you to have to endure that pain.
From that day forward my husband has fought so hard for me. He has fought to show and bring me the Lord, he has fought to love me like Christ loves the church … I know that sounds far fetch but he does. He loves me with an unconditional love that makes me question how the Lord could love me more then Danny does.
And seeing his fight makes me fight back. I can’t do much lately but I can fight. I can fighting every day to keep going and to keep living and loving him and the kids and the life I have even if it’s not what I wanted or pictured.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says “though one may be overpowered two can defend themselves. A cord with three strands is not easily broken.” The three cords being the husband, the wife and the Lord.
Before August 2014 Danny and I were two cords. Yeah we went to church but God wasn’t a priority in Danny’s life or my life or our life. But after the fall, our fall we gained a third cord, the Lord and now we are stronger then we EVER have been and we will not be broken.
This ended up being kind of a long post but Danny and I are so passionate about having good marriage rooted in the Lord. We didn’t do it perfectly nor do we do it perfectly now, we are sinful broken people but our fight is strong and so it our love. “Above all, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
Love is powerful and its messy and sometimes hard but it’s good and it feels good when we do it well and when we are loved well.
So fight. Fight for love. Fight for your hubby. Fight for your marriage. Fight for it.
You may think it’s hopeless but it’s not. The Lord can do anything we allow Him into. We just have to be humble enough to step out of His way and bring it to Him and then allow Him to work in US and in our marriage.
In us is so key because it then allows Him to work in our marriage. We have to start with we … With me.
And then when He starts being the third cord, He will begging to show you a love for your hubby or by your hubby or of your marriage that you didn’t even know was there hold tightly to it and fight to keep it.
It’s worth the fight!!
Look at him … He’s worth my fight. 🙂