We went to bed, school supplies and back packs ready, lunches packed, clothes layed out, dreaming of taking our first day of school pictures on the front porch and of having lots of time together in the morning.
Danny and I would read together and even pray before it was time to get the kids up for school. We would relax, maybe share a cup of coffee and breathe in the day slowly as this began the day we officially had a second grader and a fifth grader.
But reality hit us square in the eyes at 7:05 when Danny was walking out of the room saying “Andrea what time are you and the kids suppose to get up?” Yawning I answer, “around 6:30 or so” he answers back, “well it’s 7:05”, I sit straight up in bed and saying “WHAT??”
Layla who is sleeping on the floor in a bed I make every night for when she comes in around 3:30 or before … Making her a bed helps me hopefully get some uninterrupted sleep … My sleep while being on the antibiotics is less then optimal. My body needs rest so badly but it’s constantly being attacked so trying to rest let alone sleep is hard. If I do sleep I have awful dreams that wake me up and then Layla waking me up and tossing and turning in bed with me is hard so I came up with the idea to make a bed next to my side of the bed on the floor and that helps Layla feel safe in the middle of the night while hoping that I’m sleeping and she can slip in there without waking me up too much … So anyway Danny says “it’s 7:05,” I sit up and say “WHAT?” And Layla stands straight up and says “don’t worry mom … I’m up, I’m up!” And so needles to say our relish in the relaxing morning was thrown out the window and we had approximately 40 minutes to get ready. Ahhhh!!!
So guess what I did in the face of this morning … I laughed. I laughed and threw my arms up and just let it roll. For once in my life I decided to let the stress of the what we should be doing – like taking our first day pictures on the front porch – and said ehhh we will do them tomorrow. It’s not a big deal. Cause really it’s not. It’s only taken me approximately, I don’t know 7 years to come to that realization.
I only tell you all this not to point my finger at me and say how good I am or what a good job I am doing because listen with every praise God hand emoji moment comes two or more moments of me apologizing to the kids for something I did wrong or simply moments where I let the stress and overwhelming expectation of the day take hold of me. I tell you this to point the finger up at the Lord and praise Him for the moments when the enemy didn’t capture me, where my fight won the battle and where I can take note and say yes next time I want to react, with the Lord help the same exact way I just did.
What expectations are you holding over yourself higher then they need to be? Where are you not letting your fight win the battle?
Being a mommy, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend and so many other things is hard enough. Let’s try to give ourselves a break. Especially as this school year approaches.
My mom always reminds me “we can only do the best we can at this very moment or make the best decision we can right now.” Maybe tomorrow we will see we could have done it differently but instead of giving ourselves a hard time for not doing it that way, lets simply learn from yesterday and strive to do better next time.
I did manage to take a couple pictures on the way to school today …