So remember that post a while back how when I say things I never wanna do or I’m scared of for some reason then the Lord decides to make them happen??
It happened again!
Let me take you back … One day quite a bit ago I was just out of nursing school … A year or two … beginning my career as a nurse. I was working in Florida and on a crazy busy intense sicky floor.
Every morning I wrote in a prayer journal asking … pleading with the Lord to be with me throughout the day. That’s a “whole-nother” blog post. Let’s just all take a moment and say a prayer for all the nurses out there. Because y’all unless you are a nurse you have no idea all the demands and gosh stress and worries and just … it’s just harder then you can imagine so pray and hug for a nurse today … K??!!
Anyways back to the point. While I was working on that floor I had to assist at the bedside with a bone marrow biopsy. And y’all I remember coming home and telling Danny, well … There is another thing that I will never do, I’m never having one of those done. Nope. Never. Don’t even think about it. Ok maybe if I have to knock me the heck out k? k! K!!
Fast forward umm … 10 years and I’m sitting in the hematologist office yesterday discussing my low WBC count and she says the words, I knew she was gonna say but didn’t wanna hear. I’m holding my breathe and she says it … “I think we need to do a bone marrow biopsy.”
And there it was. The Lord at work once again.
And this isn’t all in my head. Danny even said to me last night as he’s hugging me and I’m about to lose my fight … Maybe not lose my fight just allow myself to feel the weight of the day, but he says … Just don’t bring me into any of these your never gonna do or afraid of antics. 😉
The good news … Well first of all and most importantly is, our God is a good God and has me and is in this. And secondly the dr doesn’t think anything critical or scary is going on here … She just thinks my WBCs are low and sporadic due to the Lyme infection and all the antibiotics that I’m on. She does however want to proceed with the bone marrow biopsy so we can just put any blood disorder to rest.
So that encouraging and a blessing and after going so long without answers on all this sickness it will be nice to get an answer and know wether this WBC thing is or isn’t a problem.
It just makes me sigh really and want to burry my head in Dannys big hug because it’s just another way the Lord is refining me. And I need to remember that. This isn’t all for nothing. It’s doing something. It’s not meaningless.
So yeah it’s scary but He’s in it. And all this refining … Lord all this refining won’t be for nothing. The Lord doesn’t work that way. He just doesn’t. And I’m gonna work hard to remember that and to shine the light on that and on Him and to keep all the lies out.
So if you wouldn’t mind to begin to pray for the bone marrow biopsy and for me. I’m already nervous about it and it isn’t even scheduled yet. Should be within the next 5 weeks or so before my follow up.
Pray I can stay strong but also allow myself to be weak when needed. Pray I will rely on the Lord and not on things of this world, that I will remember He is my rock, my refuge, my strength, my redeemer, my ever present help in times of trouble. Pray I will run to Him during this time and not away from Him, that I will see the truth and not the lies.
It’s gonna be ok. I know it will. It’s not meaningless and it’s doing something and I am so thankful for the Lord and His provision even in these refining moments.
I remember hearing a quote in the movie Gods not dead, let’s be honest … You hear it all throughout the movie. And I remember thinning it was a little corny but sometimes we need the little corny but full of truth things to help us keep moving toward and leaning into the Lord. You know? We need the corny to bring us a little light and laughter and smiles. There is truth in the corny and I’m thankful the Lord has helped me move from only seeing the corny to now seeing the truth and holding tight to it.
Here is the quote … “God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.”
*September books hopefully coming soon so stay tuned. 😍📚
**Remember hug a nurse!! 🏥