I’m gonna be completely honest right now about just some things that have been stirring around in my brain.
She goes through different areas of our life that we are free in. Free to grieve. Free to have joy. Free to celebrate. Free to love. Free to be brace…. You get the idea. Free to with the emphasis being that Jesus died for us and as a result of that we are free!!! Free!!! You are free. I am free. We are free. But am I living that way? Am I believing that I am free?
It really gripped me.
Life lately … Lyme lately has pretty much sucked. I mean to put it bluntly it’s been just sucky. Everything has just been a total struggle.
I started an additional treatment. I do it for the first week in conjunction with the 3 week antibiotic treatment I already do and it’s working in the sense that it’s making me feel pretty much awful. It makes me just want to take meds and sleep all day to avoid the pain and awfulness of it all. But in that feeling bad it means that it’s helping. So it’s good. Crazy right?! I know!
So anyway I’m just feeling down and hurting and one day have a migraine and if it’s not a migraine it’s a constant dull headache and I’m just finding it hard to feel free. You know? I mean how am I supposed to have joy in my day to day life when my day to day life sucks right now. When you feel this way it just makes you doubt everything. Every decision, every med, every doctor, the place we are living, the things we are eating, the way we do things with the kids … every everything.
And so I’ve just been … we’ve just praying. Praying to be free. To feel free to have joy to see the joy. To enjoy life. To be silly. To feel free and to feel free in this pain. To hear the Lords whispers in the midst off all this ish.
And so I started reading a book today and the Lord sent me a whisper y’all! I had been asking for a while and maybe He’s been sending them but I haven’t been listening … anyway … He sent me a whisper!!!
Here it is … it’s from the book “She Reads Truth”. There’s a quotein it, only a few pages in that just grabbed me. It says “we cannot know the eternal weight of this temporary life we’ve been given unless we understand that it is, indeed temporary.”
This, this sucky-ness that seems to be staring me in the face right now not letting up y’all … I can be free in it and feel free in it because it is temporary!!! It’s temporary. God is eternal and when I rest in that, though it’s easy to write and not easy to do, I’m just gonna work on giving myself grace and reminding myself over and over to let it go and to cling to Him. Cling to Him. It’s just so much easier when we feel well to do that isn’t it?!
I have a shirt that says “grace upon grace.” I need to show myself grace upon grace in this. And if I get frustrated because I just want a good day and here we go again my head is hurting or I’m dizzy and whatever, I don’t need to beat myself up about it I just need to take a deep breathe and give myself grace.
I haven’t written on here in a long while but I wanted to hopefully encourage you today to be free. To find joy. To be silly. To have fun. To give yourself grace. It’s hard real hard sometimes but the Lord went to the cross for you and for me so that YOU and ME could be free and experience all those things!!! He is the one sure thing I have. And the one sure thing you have as well. We can be free in that alone.