Slow down … 

Life lately has been … ummm well … it’s been a life of survival. 

That’s me taking a nap in the back of my car as I wait for Danny to get out of work and go to a Lyme dr appt with me. 

This Lyme ish is hard work. We have almost been down this road of oral antibiotic treatment for a year and I’m still working to try and get the hang of it. 

Daily hot detox baths 

Dry skin brushing

Bur bur and pinella infused water

Green drinks full of flax seed and chia seeds 

Taking meds and supplements all spread out throughout the day… a total of 36 of them 

Drink lemon water

Eat gluten free and dairy free 

Make sure your sleeping

Make sure your stress level is low

Don’t get up too fast 

Try to exercise even though you feel like melting into your bed 

I mean and those are just the things I can remember right now. There are more, I’m sure of it. 

It’s takes work that is the truth. And the hardest part of all of those things, is in the midst of doing all of those things to work I must keep myself focused on The truth … His truth and to keep out the lies of our enemy. 

I’ve had to fight that a lot during this round of medicine. And let me tell you somedays I win or get a leg up on it and some days I fall down and fail at it. 

Ive been trying to really soak up the moments I have with my kiddos. 

Look at them … 

they are growing up so fast I absolutely hate it!! I hate it but I also love it. I’m learning so much from them y’all. 

They used to see me up and moving and doing and going. Going for runs and making dinners and working as a nurse and being more involved in their classroom and going on dates with Daddy and looking nice with cute clothes and makeup but that’s not me anymore. At least for right now. That’s not the season we are in. 

Now they see me mostly in bed. Up for periods of time doing some things but then going and laying back down to recoup. 

They see me taking naps now more then they see me outside. 

So with my time with them I’m trying to focuse on soaking it up. Making them count. Cutting out the fluff and asking the how did that make you feel, what are you thinking about and what are your dreams kind of questions. Putting my phone down and really looking at them and seeing them and listening to them. 

It’s going by so fast. Even with our slower lifestyle right now. 

So stop right now and don’t believe the lies that you can’t speak to them about the hard things. You can’t be involved. You can’t step up and have them stop reading that crazy dragon series they are all into because even though it’s fantasy and about dragons and stuff it may plant a seed in their minds that later may lead to lies that fill their head about you not loving them or wanting them. 

The other day Layla came out of school upset because she lost a ring that she wore to school. Layla knows that anything we take to school has the potential of being lost but she’s Layla and she’s strong willed and she decided to take it to school anyway. 

She was really upset and had already explained the whole thing to me and we talked through it but she was still understandably upset. 

Hunter then came outside from school and started listening to what was upsetting her. 

And as we walked to the car this occurred … 

He slung his hand over her shoulder and stopped what he was doing and listened. 

Really truly listened. 

It was the sweetest thing. Brought tears to my eyes and everything. 

I couldn’t help but think that if I wasn’t in this slowing down season… would I have even seen this moment happen or would I have just moved on to the next thing and not even seen it?? 

And that this moment might not come again. 

In a little over a week or so he’s gonna be at a 5th grader anymore … he would be at a different school. Middle school. 

One day they are a 3lb 6oz 29 week preemie then pretty soon they are heading off to kindergarten and the next moment they are heading to middle school. 

And gosh that’s only the beginning. 

I hate Lyme. Hate. It. 

Makes me cringe when I hear the word. But I am thankful it’s forced me to slow down, to savor … really savor the time I have with my kiddos and hubby and family of four. It’s made me fight hard for everything in my life right now but that’s ok. 

It’s worth the fight. 

Life lately has been work. Different every day. One day is good then next is awful but in that awfulness the Lord has revealed so much to me. 

He’s revealed my need and desire to slow down even in the pain … to hear and see and feel those around me. He’s revealed that even when I feel alone and isolated I’m not. 

So yeah … slow down. 

Take the selfie … 

Makeup or no makeup

Celebrate the little things. 

Be silly. 

Look them in the eyes. 

Hug them tightly. 

Text or call that friend your thinking about. 

Liking things or commenting on Facebook and or Instagram arent enough. 

You need more. 

They need more. 

Do more…

I know it hurts but feel the hurt, the pain because it will bring you strength even in its awfulness. 

And try to find the good. 

Search really hard for the good, cause it’s there. Even in the sucky awful ish … its there too. 

I’ve learned that when we go through that sucky awful ish … its in there … in that ish that we start to see what life is really about. 

As I publish this blog post I’m actually feeling pretty well. I’ve had a run-in with an incredibly painful tooth ache. I swear that if it’s not one thing its another y’all. But I am so very thankful it has let up … the dr has a plan to treat it and y’all at least my kids and hubby are safe and healthy. Honestly. I’m thankful it’s not one of them will all this mess. But I’ve had a few good days. Watched Layla learn how to ride a bike without training wheels and the boys play baseball outside and I’m gonna praise hand emojis for that. 🙌🏻🙌🏻 love y’all. 

Keep fighting. 

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