So yeah … 

So yeah this happened yesterday… 

And as I reflect on it I’m not sure why I was surprised … why either of us, Danny or I were surprised. It’s been a hellish month of treatment. 

A month of putting on a brave face when I need to but really just collapsing in my hubbys arms any chance I get. A month of all or nothing sleep … migraines or constant dull ache headaches … bone and joint and muscle pain … fatigue and depression and little motivation or drive and just not having an ounce of energy to even admit that’s truly how I’m feeling to anyone else but my hubby. 

I just want to be fun. I want to be like oh I’m kinda tired today I’m gonna have an extra cup of coffee and keep chugging away at this day of getting things done and loving life. I want to love life. I want to be silly and spontaneous and stay up late and and and all that fun stuff I used to be able to do. 

But all those things are gone for now so I need to move forward. I need to work to give all this freakin ish over to the Lord and rest in Him. It’s so hard though y’all. I get weary. My hubby gets weary. My family gets weary. 

I think that may be the worst. The weariness. Because then you start letting little things in. Little “your never gonna get better” things. Little “your alone and no one understands or cares or really wants to hear how your really feeling … ain’t no one got time for that so just say good or fine” things. 

It’s just hard y’all. I’ve tried to write you a little something since yesterday. It’s been two months since I’ve written last and every time I go to write I hear this little “you have nothing to say” or “no one cares” or you name it I hear it. And it’s not the truth I see that sometimes but those voices they are so persistent aren’t they? So isolating and deflating and convincing. 

But friends I’m fighting. I say all this to say I am fighting. And I’m gonna keep fighting. You keep fighting too ok? I’m praying for you all of you will you pray for me? 

Lyme is awful it’s confusing and it sucks and it hurts you and the ones around you and it will suck every last ounce of being out of you if you let it … so will the rest of the world and its diseases if you let it but let’s not let it. Wouldn’t the enemy just love that … if we let it suck us dry mentally physically emotionally everythingally? I’m gonna try hard not to let it. I’m gonna hold on to a single strand of hope. His hope. Hope in Him. Everyday will be hard … everyday will be different and it won’t be easy the enemy will make sure of that but it will be worth it. You are worth it. I am worth it. He, our Father has already proven that by taking up the cross for every last one of us. 

I’ll post a lyme plan update soon. Maybe early next week, I haven’t done one in a little while. I just really wanted to post a little something maybe to encourage you and let you know your not alone. 

Danny looked at me yesterday through my teary eyes and said … I see you fighting Andrea but your losing hope … don’t lose hope. And he’s right. I can never lose hope because my hope is rooted in the one who loves me more then I could ever comprehend. The one who bore a cross of pain so that one day my pain would end and it wouldn’t even be a memory. My hope is on Him and Him alone. Not things of this world … meds or diagnoses or anything. Him and Him alone. 

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Our God is greater … 

Lyme sucks y’all. Gosh it sucks really really bad. Really bad. 

If you know someone with Lyme I want you to go hug them … gently … and if you can’t go hug them gently then send them a text and let them know your thinking about them because it’s really awful. Just awful. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy seriously. 

I know I’ve been in and out lately with these posts but lately I’ve just have felt like ish or felt decent enough to get something done and I’ve done it and mentally writing and or reading just isn’t there for me right now. Sad right?! I cried tears over it yesterday. No writing or reading is sad. I do write a lot of blog post in my head when I lay awake most nights I just never write them down because I’m afraid of waking the best part of me … my rock, you know … Danny. 🙂 

Ok so this post might be here and there but I wanted to do a quick update and just ask you to pray. Things are just hard right now but we had a follow up visit yesterday with the Lyme specialist and feel more prepared then ever to keep fighting. 

So we walk in and see a new dr. Yes brand new! Do you know that I have an issue with new drs? I don’t like having to start the process all over and try to trust someone again. 

But you know what we were not alone the Lord was there with us and He seriously just walked us through that appointment. And then you know what she did … she didn’t say your just depressed, see psych … she didn’t brush us off or just add yet another medicine to try and treat my symptoms…she got real quiet and looked Danny and I in the eye and said … “Your sick … your really sick” 

Gosh I let out a breathe and about started crying right there. Even with the previous dr we were seeing she was sweet and nice but never validated what essentially we are going through. Never like that. It just felt good and encouraged us and like she could see us fighting and she wanted to join in. 

So basically detoxing is gonna be a lot of our focus for a month or two. I should feel better longer then a few days and this will help clear all the yuck that these antibiotics are killing off out of my system. 

So she pumped me full of some antioxidants/free radical stuff … 

did a ton of labs. Apparently my veins were “rolling” never been told that before. I think they just got nervous once Danny told them I was a nurse. Anyway they stuck me 5 times!!! Boo hoo to that. 

Then our dr put a new plan together. One that will hopefully get me on the right track. The goal being that I feel exactly the same while on and off antibiotics and the same being good not bad. And let me tell you we are ready for that. But it’s gonna take time. It’s gonna take detoxing and resting and eating better well eating being the key I’ve felt so crummy eating is hard for me then add in a no sugar gluten free dairy free diet and I’m ready to just go back to bed. 

As I was still taking it all in this morning my mind was going straight to the hard work it’s gonna be. I mean it is. It’s gonna be work. All this detoxing multiple ways keeping that straight. Adding a bunch of supplements to help with that and the money it’s gonna cost, my mind was spinning that wheel this morning and you know what song came on the radio … this one … 

And He whispered down and reminded me that He is greater. He is stronger. He is higher then any other. He is healer. Awesome in power. Our God. Yes. Our God. 

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? Certainly not money, certainly not Lymes disease. And if our God is with us, then what could stand against? Nothing. No one. 

Maybe you need that reminder today … I sure did. Will you pray for me for us as we continue this fight? 

We have a renewed hope in this process but a renewed and strengthened hope in “Him who can do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory… forever and ever! Amen.” 

Ephesians 3:20-21 

clear as mud …

I’ve been quiet … pretty quiet lately. Not just on here but in life and this morning as I spent some quiet time with the Lord I think I figured out why. 

Which as I write that we really don’t need a reason y’all. It’s ok to be quiet. Even though the world says we should be busy and loud and extroverted and into all of these things, that’s not that really true. Quiet is good. Quiet is needed. Quiet is perfectly ok so don’t run from it…embrace it. 🙂 

Getting back to the point. 

So as the kids played LEGO/princess adventure outside my room … and I took advantage of them being entertained for a moment and not wanting breakfast yet I decided to spend some intentional quiet time. Really it was about 10 minutes but it was enough to reveal something to me. 

Do you know the saying “clear as mud?” 

Well I never did until we lived in TN. People would be explaining something to me, usually at work and someone would follow up this long instruction session with the question … “clear as mud right?” 

Obviously it’s not. Nothing is clear in the mud. It’s messy and thick and dark and dirty and filled with stuff we can’t identify or don’t even realize is in there. No one wants to be stuck in the mud. We run from it, jump over it if we can and avoid it at all costs because sometimes even if we think it’s one thing its not and we get inevitably stuck in it. 

So what I realized this morning is that not only is this world we live in messy and broken, its clear as mud. 

There is so much going on in this world we live in y’all. It seems to be clear but y’all really it’s so muddy and thick and sometimes we have to take a time out. I had to take a time out. 

So many things are going on I didn’t even know where to start with my mind or my words or my feelings. And honestly I still don’t. I just don’t. 

But when I remembered that saying … it’s clear as mud, it helped me to realize I don’t have to. I don’t have to understand what’s going on or have a stance or be able to explain why or what’s going on or how I feel about it. I can just lean on the Lord. Lean into Him. Not lean on myself to have the answers. But lean into Him and the Holy Spirit and ask for guidance and help and begin to just walk through all this mud with Him and not alone. 

So yeah clear as mud right? 😉 

Praying for guidance for y’all that we can but our armor on and we can walk along side of the one who is our rock and our redeemer, our strength, an ever present help in times when we need it most. 

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powersof this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:11-12

It’s Friday faves y’all!!

 
I’m feeling well this morning and you know why?? In the midst of left over soreness from the bone marrow biopsy I look around and just the the Lord speaking my/our surroundings and I just am reminded of what I’ve been trying to implant in this brain of mine … we have hope!! We have hope y’all. We do. We have the Lord and He has already paid the price for us and so no matter how bad things are or feel we don’t have to let it defeat us because the Lord has already done the defeating. 

I know, I know. It’s so hard to remember but I think after repeating it over and over to myself and to friends these last two weeks it’s finally made it to my heart and it’s helping me in the midst of the messiness and so keep fight and repeating and praying and y’all it will help. I promise. And if you need help in the mean time tell me and I would love to pray and speak truth to and for you as well!! 

Ok … on to my favorites for this Friday!! 
First up … let’s just take a moment to take in the beauty that God is doing here on Solitude lane (our home). 


I mean it’s truly just breathe taking. And if your not careful and reflective it will pass you right by. 
Some of you (my Florida family) may not be seeing it quite like us north of you are but still look around, breathe the thinner less humid air 😉 

Ok second favorite is … this guy … 
My hubby! He is just, I can’t even tell you. Just a gift and an inspiration and more then I could ever describe to you. He sat with me through the bone marrow aspiration and biopsy so strong and comforting. He got me a pumpkin spice latte after and found the next favorite thing (that I’ll tell you about in a min), and let me fall asleep on his chest and wake up with this awful snore thing like you see in movies, the really loud obnoxious ones and he didn’t even video tape me or anything, he just kept saying as long as your sleeping I don’t mind at all. God has blessed me and grown us into something I never thought we could have and I’m so thankful for that and for my rock … Mr. Danny Breece. 

So third is this deliciousness… 
Ok so I had seriously been stalking Fresh Market since the end of September, stopping in there numerous times a week looking for this stuff. And of course my rock stops in there to get a sandwich after my procedure on Tuesday and through my groggy sedativeness I say, just look for the pumpkin peanut butter, it prob won’t be there but look up near the register just in case … and guess who comes out with it … yep my rock! I was too sleepy to truly get as excited as I should have because this stuff is so so good. I put it on my gluten free waffles and even sometimes have a spoon full with a few dairy free chocolate chips on top!! Mmmm. If you like pumpkin and you like peanut butter your gonna like this!! 

My last favorite thing is a book … 
So my rock again, gosh he has just been on fire this week…arranged while I was drugged and enduring the procedure I never wanted to endure, to have his momma pick me up my favorite peoples (who have no idea who I am) book!! 

We were walking through the hallway to go back to sign in for my procedure and they were being interviewed on the today show because their book was finally coming out that day, of all days!! 

Of course we stopped to watch, cause really, I wasn’t that excited to go sign it and they make me happy so we had to stop. 😉 And I was like oh yeah their book comes out today. 

And wouldn’t you know it, Dan the man had his momma pick it up for me and it was on my pillow when we got home. Isn’t he just the best. He’s so thoughtful. I just love love love him. And the book is good y’all!! 

Well there were my favorites/love fest of Danny Breece this week. I did promise to tell you about my procedure so here’s a little scoop about it. 

Tuesday was the day. We got back from Florida Sunday and I went and had it done Tuesday. 

All and all it wasn’t as awful as I thought. It’s the thought of what they were doing and the noises that would be made that really just made my neck hairs stand up. You know? 

But the nurses were fantastic 🙌🏻 and the medicine they give you helps you forget all the noises in a neck hairs standing up kind of way. I mean I remember but it’s not like … blah don’t make me talk about it. The nurse was very attentive and I turned my head toward her because she seemed like the safe place. Whenever I winced or my heart rate went up due to pain, she was right there to give me more meds. And before I knew it I was back holding Dannys hand sipping something to drink. 

I came home and slept all day until the kids came home. Then off and on again till dinner and ate some chili a gluten free corn bread that a sweet sweet friend made for us. Then slept all night. I was thankful for the sleep for sure. And the food of course!! 

Now I’m just sore in that spot and when I’m up too long my back will start to hurt. I have been having increased dizziness when I get up but I think it’s cause removing the marrow and a piece of the bone has just thrown my body off a bit. 
All and all it wasn’t awfully awful and it’s over and the fact that at over should be one of my favorite things .. right? 

I’ll leave you with a song … a praise hand emoji song that’s on repeat for me right now.

Before you listen, here is a little of my favorite parts … 

“There is a light that overwhelms the darkness…There is a kingdom that forever reigns … There is freedom from the chains that bind us … Jesus

Who walks on the waters Who speaks to the sea Who stands in the fire beside me He roars like a lion He bled as the lamb He carries my healing in His hands …Jesus

Messiah … My Savior … There is power in Your name You’re my rock and my redeemer there is power in Your name in Your name

This is just a little bit of the song … and I added the emphasis but it just so powerful. I pray you feel it’s power, His power. Really y’all. I pray for all of you. 

Sometimes knowing people are praying for me help me keep fighting and helps to bring a little bit of peace into my life. So rest in my prayers! 

Here is the song. 

Florida lovin’

Life lately has been fun and exciting but at the same time emotional and draining. 

I’ve really had to work to speak truth into my life and remember that at the end of the day I have HOPE and that makes everything worth it in the end. 

Last week the kids and I traveled to Florida!! Danny stayed back. He usually takes a few days off work for hunting coming up and with us never knowing when I will have a dr appt or be sick he limits his days off as much as possible. 

We had a fun time away but have come to realize that we really don’t like traveling alone or being away from each other. We have never been ones who need time away from one another, we are just better together and God has really shined a light on that here lately. 

Our time in Florida went by too quickly as it always does, but boy we’re we excited to get there!! We were there for my sisters induction into the university of tampas hall of fame for softball and let’s face it we will take any excuse we can get to go to Fl. So off we went. Here is a few pics…

Love Laylas little photo bomb on this picture next to my cousin Alecia. This is a picture of my brother, sister, mom, dad and me. My other brother, sister in law and fam weren’t able to come because of hurricane Matthew and the damage they received on the outer banks. 😪 Hate that we missed them so much. 

Other then the induction we basically watched the kids in the pool, I rested and we soaked up some much needed Florida family time. 

Hunter was surrounded by girls but was such a trooper. His kind and loving heart shines through and the girls just adore him!! 

I had a rough emotional few days but seeing the kids enjoy themselves so much and love and be loved made all the pain and tears worth it. 

Goodbyes are not fun. There’s no other words to say about that. The sadness is evident in the pictures … 

we miss our pop-pop so much. 


Layla and Ariana pick up right where they left off and bonded so much this week. Layla wears her emotions on her sleeves and was making us all cry as we left our sweet cousins. 

Saying goodbye to Dee Dee. 


Goodbye grandma. 

It’s always so exciting to get to Florida but so hard to leave. We are so thankful we feel so loved when we are there and even when we aren’t and always look forward to the next time we make it down there. 

Coming home I had to get physically, emotionally and mentally ready for the dreaded bone marrow biopsy. 😏 I’ll hopefully write a little bit tomorrow about how that all went. I will say … I did survive and am recouping at home with an awesome new book to read and a couple warm blankets ❤️

Love you all and talk to you soon! 

Friday mashy mash-up!! 

It’s that time again … Time to take a look back on the books I read last month and tell y’all a little bit about them  annnnddd Ive also include a couple favorite things to share with you today so that’s why I’m calling today’s post my Friday mashy mash-up!  🙂 

First up is … 

Brain on fire 

Ok so Amazon has been suggesting I read this book for a little while now. I think it was based on books I would search for on Lyme or MS and I was at the library one day and the library fairies helped me stumble upon it. Love it when that happens 🙂 

This book was gripping and inspiring and really a good fast read. I related with it on a couple levels. Many times I have thought, am I going crazy, just like Susanna did in this book and she literally was. So much so that one day she woke up restrained in a hospital bed unable to talk and couldn’t remember how she got there. Her family though never gave up on her. They fought for her and for her sanity and kept fighting until the medical community stopped pushing her off and started actively searching for an answer. 

Being a nurse I’ve seen when someone just switches, they go crazy and medically all we know how to do is medicate them and their family tries and tries but usually the person in their craziness just pushes them away and even in all that Susannas family never left her side. They fought and fought for her and in the end they win the fight. 

I really enjoyed this book and like I said it had me pretty much from the first few pages. I just love memoirs and the courage and fight and heart and soul they expose of someone. They are so encouraging. 

Second we have … 
Women are scary 

I heard this women on a podcast, big surprise right?! 😉 

Anways, she had just released a book called Its Not Fair:learning to love the life you didn’t choose, and gosh I was like yes, I want to read that. Well it was kinda pricy and her first book, Women are Scary was super cheap and so I got that one instead. 

It was a good read. Funny and cute. She has a quirky sense of humor and it comes out in her writing. This book probably is more for someone younger to read who’s kinda trying to figure out the whole girl friends dynamic maybe a college or young mom girl. 

I did enjoy it and it have it in my possession so if you wanna borrow it let me know and I’ll mail it to you. With a little love note of encouragement as well. Cause I ❤️ notes. 

Third book … 
Play with Fire

This is an IF girl … You know I love my IF girls!! She is one of my favorite speakers and has such a fire for the Lord and you can feel that fire through her speaking and writing and her book definitely speaks to that. 

She takes you through her life and highlights the Lord through her darkest days and reminds us that even in the most painful moments, which can either refine or ruin us, God is right there walking us through the darkness. And He has the power to transform your life. 

This book will make you laugh and maybe cry and just want to throw your hands up and yell … Yes, preach it Bianca 🙂 I did purchase this book so if you wanna borrow it … You know I would love to loan it out to you!! 

Last book for September is … 
Have a Little faith 

This book was so so so good y’all!! It needs to be made into a movie, plain and simple. I loved it!! 

It’s a true story written by Mitch Albom and it’s just wonderful. You should definitely read it and if it ever becomes a movie, see it!! 

There are the books for September!! It was definitely a good month for reading!!!! 📚

Couple favorite things to bring before I leave you because this first favorite thing I haven’t rightly gushed or taken a picture about it yet and it’s deserving and the second favorite thing I think needs to be on repeat in your car if it’s not already! 

So first up … 
Yep, you read the cup correctly … Pumpkin Spice Latte. 

I can now gush about it without any backlash from my hubby about being a season creeper since we are a week into October and gush I will. I love me a pumpkin spice latte with coconut milk and no whip cream!! They are delish and remind me of fall and just get me in the all things pumpkin mood. And I tell myself Mmmm I’m sure it’s waaaay better then that gluten and dairy filled pumpkin cream cheese muffin so I’m just gonna sip on it nice and slow and repeat it over and over to myself as I drink it. 

Oh and stare at my “stormy skies” new jamberry gel which I may or may not … Ok I totally am in loooove with!! So much so that I think it should be named “Oh my gray-sious” because that’s what I said when I was finished painting them!! 

Ok so … my second and final favorite thing this week is the song Priceless by For King and Country. 

Here is the video … 

I was so blessed, really I’m not being overly dramatic when I say that, so blessed to see For King and Country last weekend when I was at the E women’s conference and I’ve been on a For King and Country high ever since. 

They have a tremendous story and message and their songs … Gosh y’all their songs are just so so good. The lyrics are so so good and did you know that a lot of them were written by Luke, one of the lead singers while he was battling for his life last year or so, ok I’m not sure when but it was when he wasn’t sure how many days he had left. It’s not over yet and shoulders and without you are just a few, there’s probably more. 

It’s not over yet and shoulders are a couple that I love and help me throughout the day and need their own post because they are so so good so look those up. Priceless is the one that’s my current fave and let me tell you why. 

I want this song to sink so deep into mine and especially Laylas heart and soul and brain that she never doubts for one minute that she is loved and thought of and special and priceless to our God. And Hunter too. 

I have already seen Layla struggle with this which hurts my heart so much and I want to do everything I can to speak truth to her and I feel like this song helps in such a simple way. 

So every morning on the way to school, we listen to it. And every day on the way home, we listen to it. And any time it’s on the radio, we turn it up. Because we can’t ever get enough reminders the YOU are PRICELESS!!! 

I’ve included the lyrics below … Love you all!! 

Priceless 

Mirror mirror, mirror on the wall 

Tellin’ those lies, pointing out your flaws

That isn’t who you are

That isn’t who you are
It might be hard to hear, but let me tell you dear

If you could see what I can see, I know you would believe

That isn’t who you are

There’s more to who you are
So when it’s late, you’re wide awake

To much to take

Don’t you dare forget that in the pain

You can be brave, you’re safe
I see you dressed in white

Every wrong made right

I see a rose in bloom

At the sight of you (oh so priceless)

Irreplaceable, unmistakable, incomparable

I see it all in you (oh so priceless)

He did it again … 

So remember that post a while back how when I say things I never wanna do or I’m scared of for some reason then the Lord decides to make them happen?? 

It happened again! 

Let me take you back … One day quite a bit ago I was just out of nursing school … A year or two … beginning my career as a nurse. I was working in Florida and on a crazy busy intense sicky floor. 

Every morning I wrote in a prayer journal asking … pleading with the Lord to be with me throughout the day. That’s a “whole-nother” blog post. Let’s just all take a moment and say a prayer for all the nurses out there. Because y’all unless you are a nurse you have no idea all the demands and gosh stress and worries and just … it’s just harder then you can imagine so pray and hug for a nurse today … K??!! 

Anyways back to the point. While I was working on that floor I had to assist at the bedside with a bone marrow biopsy. And y’all I remember coming home and telling Danny, well … There is another thing that I will never do, I’m never having one of those done. Nope. Never. Don’t even think about it. Ok maybe if I have to knock me the heck out k? k! K!! 

Fast forward umm … 10 years and I’m sitting in the hematologist office yesterday discussing my low WBC count and she says the words, I knew she was gonna say but didn’t wanna hear. I’m holding my breathe and she says it … “I think we need to do a bone marrow biopsy.” 

Shew. 

And there it was. The Lord at work once again. 

And this isn’t all in my head. Danny even said to me last night as he’s hugging me and I’m about to lose my fight … Maybe not lose my fight just allow myself to feel the weight of the day, but he says … Just don’t bring me into any of these your never gonna do or afraid of antics. 😉 

The good news … Well first of all and most importantly is, our God is a good God and has me and is in this. And secondly the dr doesn’t think anything critical or scary is going on here … She just thinks my WBCs are low and sporadic due to the Lyme infection and all the antibiotics that I’m on. She does however want to proceed with the bone marrow biopsy so we can just put any blood disorder to rest. 

So that encouraging and a blessing and after going so long without answers on all this sickness it will be nice to get an answer and know wether this WBC thing is or isn’t a problem.  

It just makes me sigh really and want to burry my head in Dannys big hug because it’s just another way the Lord is refining me. And I need to remember that. This isn’t all for nothing. It’s doing something. It’s not meaningless. 

So yeah it’s scary but He’s in it. And all this refining … Lord all this refining won’t be for nothing. The Lord doesn’t work that way. He just doesn’t. And I’m gonna work hard to remember that and to shine the light on that and on Him and to keep all the lies out. 

So if you wouldn’t mind to begin to pray for the bone marrow biopsy and for me. I’m already nervous about it and it isn’t even scheduled yet. Should be within the next 5 weeks or so before my follow up. 

Pray I can stay strong but also allow myself to be weak when needed. Pray I will rely on the Lord and not on things of this world, that I will remember He is my rock, my refuge, my strength, my redeemer, my ever present help in times of trouble. Pray I will run to Him during this time and not away from Him, that I will see the truth and not the lies. 

It’s gonna be ok. I know it will. It’s not meaningless and it’s doing something and I am so thankful for the Lord and His provision even in these refining moments. 

I remember hearing a quote in the movie Gods not dead, let’s be honest … You hear it all throughout the movie. And I remember thinning it was a little corny but sometimes we need the little corny but full of truth things to help us keep moving toward and leaning into the Lord. You know? We need the corny to bring us a little light and laughter and smiles. There is truth in the corny and I’m thankful the Lord has helped me move from only seeing the corny to now seeing the truth and holding tight to it. 

Here is the quote … “God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.” 

Amen. 

*September books hopefully coming soon so stay tuned. 😍📚

**Remember hug a nurse!! 🏥